10 Signs I’m Doing Better Than I Think I Am

I don’t know about you, but I struggle daily with living up to societal norms. Duh. We all do at one time or another. But I REALLY struggle. Why don’t we have our dream home? Why is the market so crappy right now when our family is growing and needs it the most? Why don’t I look put together on days I know I won’t see anyone but my son and my husband? Why do I care about what anyone thinks….ever? This ends now, and no I’m not a miracle worker and will say I will never wonder these things again, what’s ending now is this annoying list of crappy thoughts. These are the reasons, today, that I feel like I’m doing better than I thought.

1. My laundry is done.

And when I say done I really mean, the four loads I did earlier are folded and put away. That in itself is huge for my household. Usually there are folded piles all over every room, that eventually turn into messy remnants of folded piles, after plowing through them and wearing them  before actually putting them away. Let me tell you, this feels awesome. Let me also tell you, the three laundry baskets in this house are still full of more dirty laundry BUT, they aren’t toppling over from being so full, and I actually have underwear again. HUGE win.

2. The fridge is stocked and ready for the week.

I’m not going to make this one sound super exciting. This family likes food. And we have lots of it. Shwing!

3. I started a new book this week.

I have ADD, never been diagnosed but I decided actually like ten minutes ago after reading a good thirty pages, that that in itself is usually very hard for me. I love books don’t get me wrong. I have read many a book cover to cover, and enjoyed the heck out of them! But sitting down, being still, saying nothing, is hard for me. The book I started is called Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes. I’m going to be optimistic and hope that this book helps me say, “Yes, I would love to buy that perfect and reasonably priced home” sometime this year.

4. I drank two cups of tea today.

If you knew me this would not sound shocking in the least bit seeing as I am not a soda drinker. But it made me FEEL good. I don’t know why. Drinking a cup of warm tea with cozy socks on and letting it spread it’s yummy goodness all over me makes me feel truly content. And I had two so, there’s that.

5. I’m blogging….like right now.

The freshness and sense of contribution this is giving me is really exciting. I like being excited. These days I only get really excited for a few things: watching my baby learn something new, seeing him smile or hearing him laugh, happy hour with my husband (and by happy hour I mean I’m drinking tea and we are netflixing our lives away), having an empty dishwasher and all the clean dishes put away, a shower…you know where I am going with this. Even if no one reads this, it still makes me feel pretty dang productive.

6. I don’t NEED anything.

Spoiler alert: I’m about to get deep for just a minute. Growing up my parents were divorced, as many of them were, my mother lived in Colorado and I lived in California with my dad and stepmom. Now when I said I don’t need anything, yes of course I meant I don’t need anything as far as things we want for fun or things we need for daily life. Those things are covered and that is freaking cool! But I also mean, I don’t need anything more from life than what I have right now. I have aspirations, but I don’t NEED anything. When I was a kid I needed love, guidance, support, truth, stability, love, faith, love…I needed a lot of love. I have lost my birth parents but my stepmom never left my life and her family IS my family. My husbands family IS my family. I have made a family of my own. I don’t NEED love anymore because I have so freakin’ much it’s incredibly wonderful. Word.

7. I got a cool new gadget called a Fitbit.

Like I said in my last post, I’m getting back into my active lifestyle I so loved prior to having my son. But this glorious thing really upped the ante! Challenge accepted little wrist thingy, I will make you proud!

8. My son just woke up for a cuddle sesh.

I am needed. I am the apple of this little person’s eye. I MADE him. Well, as my husband would insist, WE made him. We so did! I can’t understand still how I was given such a special little boy, but damn, he makes me feel like I have a reason. For a long time I didn’t feel that, so thank you baby E!

9. My husband is asleep and Netflix is all mine!

I don’t think I need to go much further into this one.

10. I don’t have anything to prove to YOU.

Don’t be offended hear me out. I have a lot to prove to myself. I have things I’m working on, deep things and little whatever things. I have weight I need to lose, I have projects I need to finish….or start! But what do you care? I think I’m pretty cool right now! And that’s the thing, you probably really don’t care, and I love that! I have nothing I need to prove to anyone but myself (ew that was cheesy) and I will. I’m getting there and I like that.

Now these may be small, meager little things. They may be huge, life changing “Oh my god! I really really love when my laundry is done too!” things to you. But for me, right now, I’m not doing too shabby after all. Heck! If my water heater blows up I don’t have to pay for it! Winning!

***I just found a pile of folded shirts on my couch….

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